


oh, it's what you do to me

by artsyleo



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Mitchell Loves Callum "Halfway" Highway, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28249758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyleo/pseuds/artsyleo
Summary: “I miss you.”It’s just three words, but it’s also so much more than that. It’s three words that slip so easily out of Callum’s mouth, three words that have taken over his entire life. Three words that have become so damn common between the two of them. They’re words that burn in Callum’s chest, both with warmth because he’s never been loved like this before, doesn’t think he ever will again by anyone but Ben, and with pain because it’s become his most prominent truth- the fact that he spends his life missing Ben.Missing him has become as sure as the fact that the moon will shine at night, or that the sun will rise over the hills in the morning.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 12
Kudos: 45





	oh, it's what you do to me

“I miss you.” 

It’s just three words, but it’s also so much more than that. It’s three words that slip so easily out of Callum’s mouth, three words that have taken over his entire life. Three words that have become so damn common between the two of them. They’re words that burn in Callum’s chest, both with warmth because he’s never been loved like this before, doesn’t think he ever will again by anyone but Ben, and with pain because it’s become his most prominent truth- the fact that he spends his life missing Ben. 

Missing him has become as sure as the fact that the moon will shine at night, or that the sun will rise over the hills in the morning. 

It’s not as though he doesn’t like it in Edinburgh - moving away for uni is something that he’d always dreamed of doing, and everything about the place fills something in his little  _ Harry-Potter _ -nerd heart, because it’s all so big and grand and beautiful. He sends Ben pictures every day, and in turn he gets pictures of Walford, proving that it’s not changed in the slightest. He might have only been gone a couple of months now but it feels like forever. The summer had been bliss, waking up next to Ben every day. They’d taken a trip down to a tiny little village in Cornwall with the tips Callum had saved from the little cafe he’d worked at, and everything Ben could get from his job - only a long weekend, but it had been perfect, finally getting away from everything. Space just for the two of them, just to avoid the goodbye that they both knew was coming but wanted so desperately to ignore. 

They got back eventually though. Back to real life, back to the reality that they were going to spend the next few months 400 miles apart. 

“Babe?” 

The call of Ben’s voice, albeit crackly because the signal in his little flat is terrible and he doesn’t want it too loud because his roommate is studying, brings him out of his thoughts, and back to the man that’s staring at him through the screen, somewhat worried. 

“Sorry, just- zoned out,” he says, offering a smile back even though it’s harder than it should be because he wants nothing more than to be wrapped up in Ben’s arms in his tiny little flat, in the single bed they used to share because they couldn’t afford anything better. 

“Yeah? What you thinking about?” Ben replies, eyebrows raised and his bottom lip between his teeth because  _ of course _ that’s where Ben’s mind would go, and he kind of loves him even more for it. 

“You, actually,” he says, and it only makes Ben smirk even more. “And how much I wanna be with you.” 

Ben’s face drops into one of shock and sympathy and  _ love _ . Callum’s only just gotten used to this- the whole  _ being honest _ thing, talking about his emotions. It’s still odd, admitting just how desperately in love with Ben he is, but it feels less hopeless now- less like he’s shouting into the void. Now that he knows he’s not the only one, he doesn’t feel nearly as afraid. 

“I wanna be with you too, so much,” Ben says and his voice is quiet, looking away slightly like he always does when he’s being romantic. Because maybe Ben’s a step behind him with being open, but he knows that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel the same way. They’ve both been hurt, been convinced that there’s something wrong with being emotional or being in love like this, but they’re discovering it all together. “Been quiet without you ‘round here. Flat’s too big.” 

It makes Callum smile, more than it probably should. “The flat’s tiny, darlin’.” 

“Don’t make fun of me,” Ben pouts, and it makes Callum’s chest tight. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Callum says, and things go quiet for a minute. It’s not awkward though- they do this sometimes. Just looking at each other. It’s one of the things that he misses about really having Ben in person- just being able to look at the other man’s eyes, watch all the colours that sweep through them and everything that he can see in them. Most people just see blue, or just see Ben for what he is at face value, but Callum knows so much more- he knows green and yellow, and the man that Ben only shows to the people that he’s closest to. It’s an honour, and one that he knows Ben doesn’t give easily and he knows he’s never been more lucky. 

“How’s your course going?” Ben says eventually, although he’s still got that same loving look in his eyes. 

Callum sighs. “Hard, but I love it. It’s just- it’s everything i wanted it to be. I’ve missed enjoying learning, you know? I-I don’t know if that makes sense.”

“It does, babe,” Ben says and there’s this wistful look on his face, and Ben always seems to know exactly how to make Callum feel understood, properly and truly. “I get that too. I’m really liking it here, as much as I wish you were here too.” 

“How’s Lola holding up?” he asks, to distract from the fact that missing Ben is starting to feel painful, the more they talk about it. Ben seems to catch it, but moves on anyway, a soft look on his face. 

“She’s loving uni, really got into the course,” Ben laughs. “Driving me crazy talking about all of her design crap though. Said she misses you.” 

Callum’s smile fades, and suddenly the 400-odd miles in between them feels like a million. It’s still a somewhat novel idea, to be missed by someone more than just Ben because he hadn’t realised he’d really had that much of an effect on anyone else. He loves Lola, of course - she’s one of his best friends back home - but the idea of having friends like that still feels somewhat new. He finds himself missing it all even more than before - missing the flat, and the nights that they’d spend getting drunk and talking shit on the tiny sofas, and that time that they’d attempted to go clubbing in town but had ended up home by 10 because Ben had gotten them thrown out (it’s a  _ long _ story). It feels like missing another life, and as much as he loves it here he misses so much of the familiarity. 

“We can call later, when she comes over if you like?” Ben says, voice soft like it always goes when Callum’s upset and maybe it’s showing on his face more than he’d intended. The question answers itself when he feels a tear on his cheek. He tries to wipe it away before Ben catches it, but he’s too good. 

“I’m sorry we’re so far away baby, but we’ll see each other again soon, yeah? You still coming home for Christmas?” 

The thought of the holiday springs hope in Callum’s chest, and it feels a little easier to breathe. “Try and stop me.” 

“What, even when you have to come all this way away from the snow?” Ben teases, and there’s a lightness to his face that Callum adores. “Bet it’s pretty.” 

“Got nothing on you,” Callum says and it’s on instinct, heart spilling the truth before his mind has a chance to catch up. A blush climbs across Ben’s cheeks in an instant, and it makes a little pride swell through him. 

“Cheesy git,” Ben says, but the smile on his face tells more than that. “You’re pretty too. Nothing much I can compare you to down here, it’s still pretty much a shithole.” 

Callum laughs and it’s easy again, just being with Ben. “Not changed all that much then?” 

“Nah, don’t think these lot could really cope with any drastic change,” Ben laughs. “You miss it? Mick mentioned you the other day down the pub, asked how you were. I even helped put up all the Christmas shit like a good samaritan, you’d be proud.” 

“Oh yeah? Not sure how helpful you’d actually be when you can’t reach anything, shortarse,” Callum laughs and Ben’s eyes widen with mock betrayal instantly. 

“How dare you? I’ll have you know I was very helpful, thank you very much,” he replies, then pauses. “Had to stand on a stepladder though.” 

Callum laughs. “Of course you did.” 

“When’s your train down?” Ben asks eventually and there’s this beautiful hopeful look in his eyes, like he’s counting down the days just as Callum is. 

“Five in the evening, Christmas eve. Should be back home by about midnight. I’ll be there by the time you wake up Christmas morning.”

“You’re crazy if you don’t think I’m gonna be waiting up for you, babe,” Ben says, sincerity in his voice and it gives Callum butterflies. It’s a simple action, a simple offer but it means so much more than that. It’s a sign that maybe Callum’s not crazy for feeling like this- like he can’t live without Ben. Like the plan that he’s got brewing in his head isn’t completely insane. 

“Don’t want you to be tired,” Callum says, a weak defense because he doesn’t really want to fight it. 

“Never too tired for you,” Ben says, eyes gleaming, with excitement or tears he doesn’t know. Either way, it’s happy. 

“Speaking of tired, you’ve got a lecture in the morning,” Callum says, eyebrows raising when Ben rolls his eyes. “It’s late, I’m not keeping you up.” 

“Goody-two-shoes,” Ben mutters, and then pouts at him through the camera. “Fine. But you gotta get some sleep too, yeah?” 

The surge of being loved, being protected and looked after and  _ cared for  _ like that makes Callum’s heart race. There had been times before Ben that Callum had been sure that he’d never deserve that, but now he’s got a man that he really does care for, and that cares for him the same. 

“I will. Goodnight, darlin’,” Callum says, searching Ben’s face before he has to hang up. 

“Sleep well, baby. I love you,” Ben replies, voice soft. 

“I love you too. See you soon.”

Ben blows a kiss to the screen, and Callum returns it, before they eventually hang up, and it’s that initial hit of loneliness that always comes just after the call’s ended that tells him that  _ this is exactly what he needs.  _

Exactly what they need. 

He brings up the train times on his laptop. 

-

Ben only just catches it- the little sound that’s just on the edge of his hearing, just before he takes out his hearing aid. He dismisses it as nothing at first, just a little sound, something from the street until it comes again. A little tap, every few seconds, coming from where his window looks out onto the street below. At first he thinks maybe it’s just Lola playing tricks on him and he almost just ignores it, but it doesn’t stop and it’s driving him  _ insane _ . 

So he walks over to the window in all his half dressed glory and rips the curtains back. 

The street below is dark, almost too dark to see anything save the streetlights that flicker because the council refuse to sort them out. They cast a kind of flickering shadow across everything-

Except they’re enough. 

Enough to see the man that’s throwing pebbles at his window like they’re in one of those cheesy rom-coms that he loves, and that Ben always complains about (even if he secretly loves them). He’s stood there with a little bag at his side, santa hat perched on his head and even through the dark Ben can see the way his smile glitters through the night. The man that Ben’s falling even more for right in that moment, impossibly. The man that should still be back in Edinburgh for another couple of days. The man that he’s so hopelessly in love with. 

It feels like a dream, and he has to pinch himself. He does, closes his eyes tight and prays that it isn’t a dream, that he’s not going to wake up in a minute without Callum waiting for him outside.

When he opens them, Callum’s still there, waiting. 

He’s never run through the house faster. 

He ends up almost tripping down the stairs, after throwing on a hoodie over his pyjama bottoms. He throws the door open and it’s freezing outside but he doesn’t care, doesn’t have it in him to. Not when the one person that he’s been dying to see for months is stood right in front of him. 

“Surprise,” Callum says, voice soft and excited and it shoots warmth through him. He can’t help himself when he steps forward, barely even feeling the cold of the street running through his socks, and throwing his arms around Callum. It doesn’t feel real, to have him here but it  _ is _ , and the smell reminds him. It’s familiar, and he smells like apples and pine and  _ home _ and it grounds him. It’s something he hadn’t thought he’d have for another couple of days yet at least and maybe a couple of days shouldn’t mean this much to him but it does.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he whispers into Callum’s ear, disbelief in his voice. 

“Wanted to see you, didn’t I?” Callum laughs. “Managed to book the train a couple days early.”

Ben pulls away. “Wait- will you get your money back for the first ticket? You- you shouldn’t pay for a whole other ticket just for me, Callum, I-”

“Ben, I’ve come 400 miles, just shut up and kiss me, yeah?” 

He obliges, because how could he ever say no?

-

Christmas day ends up being more perfect than Ben could have ever imagined. Lola comes over in the day and they toast the morning together (“Maybe we shouldn’t start drinking so early-” “Come on, Callum. We’re  _ students  _ and it’s  _ Christmas. _ ”) and the three of them packed into the little flat feels something like family. Callum manages to cook them up something for dinner out of what they can afford from the shop but the food doesn’t matter, not when it feels like  _ this _ \- like total bliss. They all eat too much chocolate (as to be expected) and Callum insists that they should all go out for a walk just as the sun is starting to set. Maybe he should be more suspicious given the fact that Lola and Callum share this little knowing smirk, but he’s too content to really pay it any mind. 

It doesn’t really occur to him until they’re out. 

The air’s cold outside, as if maybe it’s going to snow but they’d need a miracle for that because it’s been at least a couple of years since that’s happened. It’s nice anyway because it makes the whole place feel just a little magical- not that he admits it, for fear of feeling childish. He thinks Callum feels the same though, if the way he keeps on looking around with this adorable smile on his face is anything to go by. They stay close with their hands clasped together and hidden away in Callum’s jacket pocket, his thumb rubbing over Ben’s skin every so often. Lola keeps on looking back at them but she says nothing, even though she’s got this great smirk on her face. 

Eventually they get to a park, and the memory of it hits him straight away. There’s so much here, that’s buried in the ground of it, so many times and things that have happened that it overwhelms him for a minute. He’s not been back here for a while, since he’s spent most of his time missing Callum and this felt like a little too much, but the memories haven’t faded at all. It’s the place where he’d first met Callum, the place where he’d first been asked out. The place where he’d first been kissed - where they’d both first been kissed - and the place where they’d decided that they could get through this, because 400 miles was just that. Space. 

Callum stops a minute, that childlike grin that Ben loves so much back on his face, as he pulls on Ben’s hand. 

“What are you doing-”

“Just- come here,” Callum replies, and his excitement is infectious. Soon enough Ben’s laughing along with him, and he almost doesn’t notice that they’ve abandoned Lola back on the path. 

They end up under a tree and even without the leaves he knows exactly what it is-

“Do you remember the first time we kissed, right under here?” Callum says, turning back to Ben. “You bought me a coke at the shop down the road because I’d never told you that I didn’t like coke, and you told me that that was stupid-”

“-and then you told me that  _ I  _ was stupid, and then you kissed me,” Ben finishes, the memory still fresh in his mind, just like the feeling of Callum’s lips on his that first time. 

“You remember,” Callum says, and there’s almost  _ wonder  _ in his voice, as if the thought that Ben could possibly forget it had actually crossed his mind. “Look, I just- I’ve been going crazy up in Edinburgh thinking about you, and- and how much I’ve missed you, and how much I love you.”

“I love you too,” Ben says, voice quiet. 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about us- about the fact that after uni I never want to live without you.”

Ben’s heart races when the clues start to connect - the fact that Callum’s refused to give him his present yet, the early train and the way he’s talking combined with where they are - and it feels impossible. 

“And I thought about this one night and it just felt right. Right like nothing else ever has, Ben. Just- just as right as you are for me.”

Callum looks as though he’s about to throw up, but he throws a glance back to Lola, who Ben just notices has a camera out and trained on them. 

When he looks back, there’s a box in Callum’s hand. 

“I ain’t gonna kneel down because I’m gonna freeze my arse off but-”

Callum crouches down on the floor, a mock of kneeling, and he can’t help but laugh because it’s so him, so  _ them _ . 

“- I love you, Ben. And I wanna marry you. If- if you wanna marry me too.” 

It’s one of those choice moments in life, standing at a crossroad. Except there’s no choice, no possible other option for Ben. It’s only one thing. There’s only one answer it could ever be. 

“Of course I’ll marry you, you idiot,” Ben says, and the look of wonder in Callum’s eyes is one that he never wants to stop seeing. 

“Yeah?” he says, as if Ben could’ve ever said no.

“ _ Yes _ , you idiot. Now get up here and kiss me,” Ben laughs, pulling at Callum’s hands until he stumbles forward. 

“Wait, wait,” he replies, and opens the box in his hands. It’s a simple silver band with a small green stone set into it, a little round one with the outline of a leaf around it. 

“Fuck- how did you-” 

“I got a job at a cafe just around my flat, and- and I owe my roommate about six months of rent, but- but I wanted to do this for you,” he says. “And don’t say something like you don’t deserve it, because you do, and I don’t care because I love you, and this was my choice, okay?” 

Ben can’t even force words out- there aren’t any in him. He holds himself back while Callum slips the ring onto his finger but surges forward straight after, presses their lips together. 

Later, when they look at the pictures that Lola’s taken, they find that it starts snowing the minute they kiss, like maybe they’re their own miracle. 

**Author's Note:**

> okay you can blame the cheesy ending on the fact that i watched love actually while i was writing this and it just sorta happened  
> also this was a part of the ballum advent calendar that's been run by the very lovely over on tumblr, so if you're on there please come check out some of the amazing works that have been made for that, because there's some amazing talent over there (im over there @artsy-highway) so i hope you enjoyed this, comments n kudos mean the world to me, and lots of love to you  
> leo x


End file.
